TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize