Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
