all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
