i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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