I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
