the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
