Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
