Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize