hotel room ftw
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
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