You're completely useless in the revolution.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
