my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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