We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
do herpes really smell.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize