Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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