We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
