Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
