I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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