What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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