its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Can you bring me the toilet please
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
