I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
do nipples grow back?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
