I think I died a long time ago.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
