I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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