its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
