you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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