quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
