I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
