She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
