At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
