Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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