you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
