In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
