FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
