It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
