happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
last night I used snow as a chaser
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
