i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize