We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
