i jhust puked up my retainher.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
