Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
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Do I have a choice?
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I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Randomize