well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
