Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
