hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
