thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
