we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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