I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
the liver wants what the liver wants
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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