I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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