I'd wear matching sweaters with you
how can u be prego again
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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