I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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