ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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