Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
