I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I am available for nakedness
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
