Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
