just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
