i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
