Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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