Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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