i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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