he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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