I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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