i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
