Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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