i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
