Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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