I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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