i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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